'cause you're already home
making it nice for when I come
like the way I find my bed turned down
coming in from a late night out
the tea kettle whistles loudly, i pour the hot water into a mug being careful not to let the tea bag string fall in. opening up a packet of sweetener i tap the last specks into the hot liquid. a dash of milk swirls around in a cyclone as my spoon blends it all together. i carefully fold a napkin in a fan and slip it through the handle and proceed up the stairs. after all, presentation is everything. i always made her a cup of tea. it was sort of our thing. i took great pride in bringing comfort. a nice hot cup of tea. for mom.
may is a tough month. it always will be. mother's day. another reminder on top of a million reminders that mom is no longer here. may. the month she left me. i know i have no right to complain. i had my mom for a long time in my world. i am lucky for that. but i'm just going to be selfish for a minute. and long for this woman who told me after i graduated from college, and i quote, "you can do whatever the hell you want to in this world meg". so for this moment, i want to be sad. and miss my mom. and miss all the great things about her. the smell of her skin, her warm hands, the way she always looked at her rings, her laugh, her support where my life was concerned, her humor, her kindness, her adoration for her grandchildren and the children that gave her those grandchildren, her love for my dad, caring about the little things, handwritten notes, pea soup, phone conversations, making everything so nice, her love for me and of course the love i know she would have for my little girl. i just have to keep remembering that.
happy mother's day mom. thank you for you. you are missed.