[tea for mom] | above. beyond

'cause you're already home

making it nice for when I come 

like the way I find my bed turned down

coming in from a late night out

{c. simon}

the tea kettle whistles loudly, i pour the hot water into a mug being careful not to let the tea bag string fall in. opening up a packet of sweetener i tap the last specks into the hot liquid. a dash of milk swirls around in a cyclone as my spoon blends it all together.  i carefully fold a napkin in a fan and slip it through the handle and proceed up the stairs. after all, presentation is everything.  i always made her a cup of tea. it was sort of our thing. i took great pride in bringing comfort. a nice hot cup of tea. for mom.

may is a tough month. it always will be. mother's day. another reminder on top of a million reminders that mom is no longer here. may. the  month she left me. i know i have no right to complain. i had my mom for a long time in my world. i am lucky for that. but i'm just going to be selfish for a minute. and long for this woman who told me after i graduated from college, and i quote, "you can do whatever the hell you want to in this world meg". so for this moment, i want to be sad. and miss my mom. and miss all the great things about her. the smell of her skin, her warm hands, the way she always looked at her rings, her laugh, her support where my life was concerned, her humor, her kindness, her adoration for her grandchildren and the children that gave her those grandchildren, her love for my dad, caring about the little things, handwritten notes, pea soup, phone conversations, making everything so nice, her love for me and of course the love i know she would have for my little girl. i just have to keep remembering that. 

happy mother's day mom. thank you for you. you are missed. 

xo

{19}seventies

pioneer woman actions

i was reading one of my favorite blogs confessions of a pioneer woman - she was talking about the seventies....how different life was back then compared to now. i miss that time in my life and would go back if only for a little while. i guess most importantly is that in the 70's i was just a kid, making my way and i had the whole road ahead of me. i miss the 70's because i've been on that road for quite some time and perhaps the road is starting to bend a bit. the 70's were a time when my family was a complete unit, we were all together and now we are all apart, living in different states. but now there are some great places to visit! sundays were spent at church and then at home fighting over the jelly doughnuts and reading the comics and barbecuing and having family friends over, playing basketball with everyone in the neighborhood and laying on the green grass of my yard looking up at the clouds. i miss the 70's because the latter part of them i was in high school, and i loved high school. i am amazed at how long i've been out of high school!! facebook has helped get me back in touch with those folks. {that's a whole other post about facebook!} life was simple in the 70's, i danced ballet, took piano, discovered carly simon, obsessed over my clothes, my weight, my hair, my face. {ok so i still do many of these things now!} i started the 70's as a 7 year old and ended it as a 17 year old - lots of growing up in the 70's. i won't tell you what i'm starting 2009 as, i'm sure you can figure it out.
i guess most importantly is, i miss the simplicity of my life. rainy mornings mom would drive us to the bus stop and we'd sit in the car waiting for the bus to arrive, talking to the sound of the wipers going back and forth and the heat fogging up the windows. coming home from school and and hopping on your bike in your neighborhood for hours with your friends, coming home to the smell of dinner cooking or the 4:30 movie starting. does anyone remember the 4:30 moving or was that a southern ct. new york thing. - what could be better than that! it's not like that anymore. i could go on and on with the memories that have been sparked in my brain. the 70's was a special time.