[it's personal] - have you seen me lately? | newburyport, ma

Have you seen me lately
What was it you saw
Are you gonna catch me
With my hand in the jar
Naked singing in the choir

Have you seen me lately
Did I look O.K.
Are you gonna shame me
And take my toys away

Don't wake me unless you love me
It takes too long to fall back to sleep
Don't wake me unless you'e a friend of mine
I'd rather just fall back on my dreams

Have you seen me lately
Did I miss a beat
Are you gonna make me
Get back on my feet

Don't wake me unless you love me
It takes too long to fall back to sleep
Don't wake me unless you're a friend of mine
I'd rather just fall back on my dreams

Have you seen me lately
Was I crazy?
Don't wake me
Don't wake me
Don't wake me... {c. simon}

checking in with an old friend yesterday i was reminded {once again} how fast time flies. as if having a child who should really be 5 months old instead of 5 years old isn't enough of a reminder. we reminisced about our days of being fabulous singles. or so we thought.  inside i still feel like i did when i was 22 - freshly baked and out of the oven from college ready to make my grand entrance into the world of sophisticated interior design. instead, i found myself living with three other women on beacon hill, schlepping to my job at the design center and waiting on the sophisticated interior designers. but i was happy. happy to live in a dilapidated duplex on the hill, happy to eat ramen noodles for dinner and happy to be with my friends out and about in boston. the world was our oyster. neither one of us made huge salaries back then. but we managed to pay our rent, have one heck of a social life and laugh on a daily basis all while tripling our wardrobes. i miss that time in my life. sometimes i look in the mirror and i don't recognize the girl looking back at me. {i'm  happy i was and still am a stickler about sunscreen because that reflection would be far worse} i guess you could say i'm in a funk. a big 'ol funk. maybe the lack of sunshine is to blame, maybe the fact that my skinny jeans are too tight, maybe because i miss my mother. but i'm in it. twirling and swirling around this big 'ol funk. i find myself crying more than laughing. i think more than i do. i know this needs to change. this feeling of down and out in beverly hills. it feels good to admit it. it feels right to feel it and own it. i guess i'm right where i'm supposed to be. so. if you happen to catch me singing a little too loudly, or dancing around my living room, or wearing some kooky outfit - just smile and know that this gal is working her way back to the land of smiles. the land of giggles. the land where perhaps all the laundry will be folded AND put away on the same day. imagine. in the meantime, i'm grateful for my memories, my friendships and my darling daughter who does remind me that everything is going to be okay. xo