and then your weatherwise heart foretold of gusty winds and sodden skies.
but you did not know about my little silver boat...
the one i climb in during storms,
the one that carries me through and lands me on dry shore,
on mountaintops. [m.duval]
the memories i hold near and dear of my mom carry me through - not a day goes by that i don't think of her. i often find myself reaching for the phone to call her. to tell her something funny or share a story about annie. in these fleeting moments i am often left with such a sense of sadness that it takes my breath away. but then, all at once i remember. i remember how lucky am i that i have such good memories of my mom. nobody can take that away from me. she would be very happy to know that i still laugh at the silly things, that i fold my towels the way she did, that i make that noodle dish she used to make when i was a kid. i could have spent this 5th anniversary of losing her with sorrow in my heart, and sure i've had a few "sad" moments, but for the first time the good inside far outweighs the bad, the memories offer me comfort. i have to remember what annie, the wise 4 year old annie told me this morning. "mamma, you have nana in your heart and you also have a lot of pictures".
indeed. i do.
i love you mom. xo
[audrey ann degnen manion 28 september 1928 - 27 may 2005]