[a million tomorrows] | above.beyond.

today while the blossoms still cling to the vine

i'll taste your strawberries i'll drink your sweet wine

a million tomorrows shall all pass away

ere i forget all the joys that are mine, today.

{r. spark}

{2005 - annie was with us - can you spot her?!}

breathe meg, breathe. those words still ring in my ears. your reminder to me when we sang together. you always said i had such a lovely voice, just like my sisters. me, always too shy to sing in front an audience. i have so many happy memories of our days together. sitting around the thanksgiving table completely full from the wonderful meal mom + you made us and always breaking out into song. family cookouts with the deans and the williams's. i loved when you sang with jack + jack. was there ever a blend of voices better than you three?! i used to sit on the stairs while your quartet rehearsed in the living room so i could hear your amazing harmonies. i bet you didn't know that?!! i would never ever tire of hearing goodbye, my coney island baby. you guys were the best. sometimes i'd be brave enough to open the door and sit on the sofa. i was always in awe. i can never hear a peter, paul + mary song without being immediately transported back to ridgefield, ct. circa 1960something. the great mandella pumping through your stereo speakers in the living room. or late nights at the ryders and me curled up on the couch so tired from the day of swimming and being lulled to sleep by leaving on a jet plane. music has always been a huge part of our family fabric. we sang at family gatherings, the happy times + the sad times, we would break out in song after a dinner at the elms or after church in the driveway. you, always teaching us girls a new tag from barbershop. i have you to thank for my love of music. of course i have you to thank for many things in my life. but i just want you to know that there is always a melody in my head + heart and that melody is you dad. i love you and i thank my lucky stars that i was chosen to be your daughter. happy father's day daddy. xo 

a lime slice - [daddy's girl]

“Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes.” (g. naylor)

very true words. since moving to fl. he is no longer a car ride away from me. and i miss that feeling - knowing i can see his face in three hours. a lot has changed since my mom passed away but what hasn't changed is the way i feel about my dad. the man who has always been larger than life to me. the man who could bring me to my knees with just a look. we all know that feeling. you know the one when you're sitting in church and you are nudging your brother, he nudges you back - you're not behaving! oh yes, that look - a simple little lean in, a simple little "look our way" and we were done. if only i could have such power! the man who fed me my desire for photography without even knowing it. i tried to find a photo of me with my dad when i was little. i'm sure it's there somewhere but i couldn't find one. and then i realized, like me, he was always behind the lens not in front of it. he is the man i always sought approval from. still do. the man who taught me how to ride my bike, encouraging me to keep pedaling as i sailed across the front yard on my green schwinn. i can still picture that moment. he is the man who demanded respect, even from a 4 year old, i would always say "yes ma'am!" (i always confused the ma'am and the sir.) the man who brought me to paris when i was 17 because i managed to "bring my grades" up my senior year in high school. the man who took me to dinner at locke-obers in boston and told me how when he was at m.i.t. he could  never afford to take my mom to dinner there. i asked him if he ever thought that some day he would take his youngest of five there for dinner and his answer was "yes, i did". the man who told me after touring my first apartment in boston, "if there's ever a fire, do me a favor, jump!" - ah yes that was some bad apartment! the man who taught me and my sisters his barbershop tags so we could sing in harmony. the man who always took my friends out to dinner so we would have a "decent" meal - we were young college grads making our way. the man who was so incredibly generous he was deemed the name "dollar bill". the man who tells you a story by leading you on this journey and then zap you with the punchline. so very funny. the man who made pancakes on the weekends. the.best.pancakes. the man who would make us get up at 7am on a saturday during the summer to weed the vegetable garden. what i wouldn't give to weed that vegetable garden right now! the man who loves to cook and made the best eye round on the grill. i can still taste it this very moment! the man who forgot me and left me behind at the salt water taffy store in stone harbor when i was 5 and felt so bad that he bought me the biggest barbie coloring book and new crayons. i was in heaven. the man who didn't yell at me when i took the entire row of shrubs out with my mom's car before i got my license. the man who always gave his children the best summer vacations. the man who works harder than anyone i know who apologized to me on my 30th birthday because he wasn't around a lot while i was growing up - he traveled so much for business. i'll never forget that. the man who was always so genuine and cool with my friends. the man who said to me upon just giving birth to my daughter, "aren't you clever." the man who lost his own father when he was 15. the man who loves unconditionally. this man. my father. you'll always be my hero. you'll always be treasured. i love you.
happy father's dad.
xo


dad + me circa 2002