17 December 2010

[a lime slice]. the best thing

[The best thing]

I turned the page
And saw three children with smiles
I looked to see
What I could make of the youngest child
And as she blew the candles out
She turned five
How was I to know
It was the best thing
To come along for a long time  [c. simon]


My gal is five today. Five. I’ve been her mother for only 5 years and yet, it seems like I’ve always been her mother. She’s been starring in my dreams since I was a child. Believing that someday I too would be handed the torch of  motherhood. That’s me in the photo blowing the candle out on my birthday pancake – I turned 5 – see my baby doll by my side – she never left it. 2005 was the absolute worst and absolute best year of my life. The absolute worst - my darling mother died.  She left me before I could share the absolute best .  Annie. Sweet precious Annie.  Annie Viola shined her light on this world 17 December 2005 at 1:24am – I knew right then, at that very moment, my life would never ever be the same. How could it not? And I am so very grateful. She healed my broken heart.  I believed she healed my family’s broken heart. I remember my sister, MB, flew from California to be by my side – a place she knew my mother would be – teaching me the new mom ropes – giving newborn Annie her first bath. I’ll never ever forget that. My sister, Kerry arrived from CT and I will never forget watching her hold Annie for the first time. Tears. Tears of pure joy. I remember talking to my Dad after giving birth to Annie – he was our first call – he said “aren't you clever” – to me the highest praise of all from my Dad is being called clever. I could hear happiness in his voice – it had been awhile since I heard happiness in his voice – I knew how much he missed my Mom. My brother Pete came to Newburyport to see his new niece – Pete has always driven to be by my side many times – such a good big brother. Watching my brother Kevin hold Annie (a month later on business from California) for the first time is also an unforgettable moment – he kissed her head and sighed. She was our new Annie – never replacing Mom, the original Annie, but smoothing out the edges of the hole in our hearts. Our first Christmas without Mom was our first Christmas with Annie. Having my Dad and MB along with her husband Kit and my beautiful niece Emily here in Newburyport  remains one of the happiest times of my life. Having my family around me admiring and adoring my child. Nothing better.
My gal is 5 today. She is the most delightful creature I have ever known. She sings, she dances, she twirls on a daily basis. Happiness  follows her everywhere. She finds great joy in just being. I know my mom would have adored her. She would be right by her side celebrating.  Sure there are days I feel totally gipped, but I can’t help believing that she guides my daughter.  There’s a sparkle in her eye and I know my mom is there.  I am an incredibly lucky woman to have this child in my life. She is just so easy to be with. The sun hadn’t even come up yet one day this past week as we cuddled  in my bed looking at the faintly lit sky through the skylight just talking. Talking about the important things in a soon to be 5 year olds life. What dress could she wear to school and “please mom please can I open that present when I get home".

Oh Annie you are indeed the best thing.



jasmine macdonald said...

I think these two photos, eventhough not captured by you, may be my favorite on this blog yet! Annie will forever cherish this journal! Just imagine if we had this of our mom's how dear it would be to us...

Cindy Dixon said...

What a beautiful article Meg!!

Anonymous said...

Yes, darling Annie Viola did indeed help to mend our broken hearts and she continues to bring joy to all of us each and every day! What a truly magnificent gift from God she is! xo, Ker