[a.v.s.] | isn't she lovely. xo

she may be the reason i survive

the why + wherefore i'm alive

the one i'll care for through the rough in many years

me, i'll take her laughter + her tears

+ make them all my souvenirs

for where she goes i've got to be

the meaning of my life is she.

{c aznavour + h kretzmer}

my sweet annie viola xo 

september 2012

grade one

monday morn. first grade + vote yes. | above. beyond

do you ever open your eyes and think,  it's late! you can just tell. the light is different in your room, the house seems eerily quiet. there's a faint smell of freshly brewed coffee, but it's not as strong as it normally is. husband quietly left for work. annie! where is annie?! her name is the first word i speak. i jump out of bed and see her bedroom door shut. she's still sleeping. i quietly open the door only to find the wrinkled mound of sheets on the floor and an empty bed, long ago vacated. i tear down the stairs calling her name - there she is at my husband's desk. earphones planted over her lobes. she can't hear me. she's singing to the music on spotify while she plays a game of crazy 8s on the laptop. her latest obsession. bil taught her how to play the game while i was away at my workshop - that and shuffling. so there is always a deck of cards handy or should i say strewn over the living room floor. and recently they discovered the game on the computer so it's crazy 8's 24/7! she finally notices i am standing there - "good morning mommy", she says. i ask her why she didn't wake me up? " i wanted you to sleep in". how sweet. a luxury to sleep until 8am on a rainy monday. this kicks off our last week of school. i can hardly fathom that this school year is over. that my daughter will be "graduating" kindergarten and the summer begins. the number lingers over her. 1. 1. 1. first grade. i will have a first grader. how can this be?! the time has passed far too quickly. it's like suddenly she walks and talks differently. her dresses have become a little shorter, her jeans that once needed cuffing sit at her ankle, perfectly. she has grown so much. in so many ways. she entered kindy reading chapter books and she leaves kindy with a fondness for math. always math. i was not like this child. at all. she is soaring. bil and i are not afraid to admit our child's intelligence. she really is very smart. we just nurture her love of learning and discovery and let her soar. because she can and she will. she's having a hard time letting go of kindergarten. saying goodbye to her teacher. she sobbed very hard friday night before bed. cried for the loss that is lingering in the distance. the fact that her teacher, her beloved mrs. duguie will no longer be there. she told me she doesn't want to leave kindergarten, ever. and through her tears i gently reminded her that she felt the same way about leaving her pre-k teacher, shelley, how sad she was that she would be moving on to another school. and now here she is a year later feeling the same way. so  hard these transitions for our little ones. and even harder that here in newburyport the kindergartners are in a separate school from the first graders. the big scary first grade. it's sad that she won't walk the hallway and see mrs. duguie. that reassuring face. i applaud all the newburyport first graders that make this transition. and to their parents that survive it. we vote tomorrow for a new school one where the kindergartners will be joined with first, second, and  third  graders. as it should be. but most importantly, we vote for a school that isn't falling down around our kids. one that doesn't leak, one that is environmentally friendly and not in disrepair. i'm terrified to send my daughter to the bresnahan.  they deserve a better school. these kids of ours need us to put them first. where they belong. i'll be voting yes. port pride indeed!

so here's to the summer and  my soon to be first grader. and here's to a new school. it's funny, i haven't aged a day on this journey called motherhood. {perhaps i need to thank the aveda hair color for that one!}