[gather round the fire]. | newburyport, ma

then swing your window open, 

the one with the fresh air and good eastern light

 and watch for wings, edges, new beginnings

{m. duval}

kodak bw400cn

[it's personal] - not a day goes by.

Not a day goes by

Not a single day

But you’re somewhere a part of my life

And it looks like you’ll stay

As the days go by

I keep thinking when does it end

Where’s the day I’ll have started forgetting

But I just go on thinking and sweating

And cursing and crying

And turning and reaching

And waking and dying

And no, not a day goes by

Not a blessed day

But you’re still somehow part of my life

And you won't go away

So there’s hell to pay

And until I die

I’ll die day after day after day

After day

After day after day after day

Til the days go by

Til the days go by

Til the days go by {S.Sondheim}

72 months

or

312 weeks

or

2190 days

or

5294.87662 hours

or

3155692.596 min

or

189341556 seconds 

since i saw you. and not a day goes by that you are not close in my thoughts. i adored you. oh how i miss you my mother. xo

circa. 1950 maybe.......
update: dad says it must have been 1947 or 1948
he was 17 which would make mom 19 - xo

{i like to imagine mom is swinging in heaven just like this, young and beautiful and free xo }

[it's personal] - between the drops | newburyport, ma.

Raining
Raining for days on end
Staying inside again
Making up lists of things to do
When the rain ends
The Children are restless
They played all their games
Again and again and again
If we knew anyone we could call up a friend

But it's raining
Raining, raining, raining

{c. simon}

It has been raining here for over a week. But I'm one of THOSE people who love the rain. The sound of it on my roof, hitting my windows, a sweet little lullaby that I always adore. Of course as I type this, the sun is shining and the sky is blue. Finally. People seem happy. I drove Annie to school this morning and a car actually let me make my turn at the light. Amazing what a little sunshine and warmth does to the human spirit. 

There's a lovely tree on our street and it's petals are scattered all over the brick sidewalk like a pretty pink carpet. It was just too good not to photograph. Annie and I ran out between the raindrops and did a quick little impromptu shoot. I'm glad we did because the petals are now smushed and crushed into the sidewalk from all the rain we've had. Annie twirled and posed and loved the pretty pinkness. And then, ping.... ping.... the raindrops started again so we opened our umbrella and ran home. Spring. xo

Annie's skirt from The Pink Pooka - check out her etsy shop! 

 

{she has the daintiest fingers. love her hands.}

[it's personal] - have you seen me lately? | newburyport, ma

Have you seen me lately
What was it you saw
Are you gonna catch me
With my hand in the jar
Naked singing in the choir

Have you seen me lately
Did I look O.K.
Are you gonna shame me
And take my toys away

Don't wake me unless you love me
It takes too long to fall back to sleep
Don't wake me unless you'e a friend of mine
I'd rather just fall back on my dreams

Have you seen me lately
Did I miss a beat
Are you gonna make me
Get back on my feet

Don't wake me unless you love me
It takes too long to fall back to sleep
Don't wake me unless you're a friend of mine
I'd rather just fall back on my dreams

Have you seen me lately
Was I crazy?
Don't wake me
Don't wake me
Don't wake me... {c. simon}

checking in with an old friend yesterday i was reminded {once again} how fast time flies. as if having a child who should really be 5 months old instead of 5 years old isn't enough of a reminder. we reminisced about our days of being fabulous singles. or so we thought.  inside i still feel like i did when i was 22 - freshly baked and out of the oven from college ready to make my grand entrance into the world of sophisticated interior design. instead, i found myself living with three other women on beacon hill, schlepping to my job at the design center and waiting on the sophisticated interior designers. but i was happy. happy to live in a dilapidated duplex on the hill, happy to eat ramen noodles for dinner and happy to be with my friends out and about in boston. the world was our oyster. neither one of us made huge salaries back then. but we managed to pay our rent, have one heck of a social life and laugh on a daily basis all while tripling our wardrobes. i miss that time in my life. sometimes i look in the mirror and i don't recognize the girl looking back at me. {i'm  happy i was and still am a stickler about sunscreen because that reflection would be far worse} i guess you could say i'm in a funk. a big 'ol funk. maybe the lack of sunshine is to blame, maybe the fact that my skinny jeans are too tight, maybe because i miss my mother. but i'm in it. twirling and swirling around this big 'ol funk. i find myself crying more than laughing. i think more than i do. i know this needs to change. this feeling of down and out in beverly hills. it feels good to admit it. it feels right to feel it and own it. i guess i'm right where i'm supposed to be. so. if you happen to catch me singing a little too loudly, or dancing around my living room, or wearing some kooky outfit - just smile and know that this gal is working her way back to the land of smiles. the land of giggles. the land where perhaps all the laundry will be folded AND put away on the same day. imagine. in the meantime, i'm grateful for my memories, my friendships and my darling daughter who does remind me that everything is going to be okay. xo

{swoon} it begins inside your heart.

first it begins inside your heart. 

something moves. then opens. then frees itself. 

and now you feel a rhythm breaking its long silence. 

this is going to be good.

{m. duval}

wishing mara and aaron a lifetime of happiness. being in your company - witnessing your beginning was my honor. xo

 

venue: rudi's of portsmouth

flowers : cymbidium floral  - exeter nh

dress:     j. crew

necklace: white house black market

[it's personal] - wednesday morning ladies.

I remember a time
Rompin' through the woods
Sun against our skin instead of clothes
When we felt hungry we would eat
When we felt glad we would dance
And whenever we felt drowsy we would doze

It was so easy then
Never takin' any stands
It was so easy then
Holdin' hands

I remember a time
When our fears could be named
And courage meant not refusing dares
I remember when we took such cares
Tto step never on the cracks
No only on the squares
Or else we'd be abducted by the bears

It was so easy then
Never makin' any plans
It was so easy then
Holdin' hands
It was so easy then
Never makin' any plans
It was so easy then
Holdin' hands

{c.simon}

She refers to him as her "baby" friend. Winston and Annie shown below in this scan. A typical wednesday morning at the "New Mother's Group". It was my lifeline. I met and have remained close to the women who I shared my wednesday mornings with. Sharing our new motherhood journey together. Sharing the good, the bad and the ugly. The sleepless nights, the cranky babes, the jeans that wouldn't button, the wrinkly shirts, the spit up, which diaper was the best, which toy, which bottle, what sippy cup worked, strollers, car seats, burping techniques and how to clip those baby nails without amputating a finger!  In the beginning this was my big day out - it seemed to take forever to get my act together in the morning, packing for our adventure. It took a lot for me to miss one of these gatherings. On sunny days we would meet on the waterfront with our strollers and end our walk at my tea house. It remains one of my most fondest memories of new mommyhood. And Winston's mommy - Renee along with her husband Corey - have become very special friends in our hearts. Sadly, they moved away to New Jersey but always manage to come back to Newburyport for a visit.Thank goodness! And our two little babes - now big 5 year olds - giggling together and doing what 5 year olds do. Coloring together at breakfast - Annie still sitting a bit close, loving being with her baby friend. Oh my heart. Look at our babies. I especially love Annie's hand on Winston - just making sure he's there. And Annie with her Mohawk more than made up for Winston's shall we say lack of hair! So darling he was.  Annie was such a drooly girl - but always so happy, and she still is. 

I will always be grateful for the ladies of Wednesday morning. You know who you are. And my sweet friend Renee, I love you and miss you. xo